


wtf deadpool

by StarishSparkles



Series: We've all got problems (so don't think you're special) [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crazy, Cross my heart, Freaked peter, Funny wade, Hella cute tho, Inner monologuing, M/M, No spiders were harmed, Peters a dork, obviously, short but will be continued, so cute, so dont worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 22:57:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11815923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarishSparkles/pseuds/StarishSparkles
Summary: Peter meets deadpool. Out of costume. While being mugged. By deadpool. Who is very not broke. What?!?!?!?!Also its quite short because I'm splitting it from the 'Spidey meets deadpool' fic im posting next.Probably tomorrow though. Its 2am...Can be read as standaloneFirst fic in my new series, 'We've All Got Problems (So Don't Think You're Special)'eek :)





	wtf deadpool

The first time Peter Parker met Deadpool he was on his way home from a long day working at the daily bugle. His head was up in the clouds, so almost didn’t register the gun to his head until he felt the cold metal touch his scalp in a way that made his skin crawl. Yet his spider-sense was absent, a fact that unsettled him more than he was willing to admit, and once he finished running possible theories through his head he came to the unfortunate conclusion that he... wasn’t in danger? Suddenly he realised he wasn’t imagining the stench he’d heard so much about from listening to rumours around the Bugle, and that I _really_   _should be paying attention to the guy with a gun to my head, thank you very much._

“...so if you don’t mind, pretty, I’m gonna have to remove that wallet in your pocket, then we can part ways and dash into the sunset or whatever.”

_His voice_   _is kind of... Caramel._

_Gravelly, but not rough._

_His voice can’t be that deep normally. Is he trying to scare me?_

Well, it was working.

Peter was confused, and somehow his brain decided now was a great time for typical inner monologue rambling. Great. On the other hand, Deadpool had a load of cash from all his mercenary jobs, so if he’d resorted to mugging, it meant something was seriously wrong.

“Why?”

Aaand there goes his chance of letting this be simple. He could almost see his self-preservation hold up a choice finger then triple backflip off a cliff. Nothing was ever simple where Peter was concerned...

“I had a bunch of money, sure, but lets just say a few explosives may have been _accidentally_ set off while I was preoccupied with my plans to meet a... friend. Best friend actually. I was gonna buy him tacos but I’m broke. Help out a guy out, will ya?”

His brain stopped.

Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth, buying something? Something he could get away with stealing?

His brain supplied the unfortunate reminder that there was a gun held to his head, so he _should really hurry the fuck up before my brains get blown out all over the pavement,_ but he wasn’t even sure if it was loaded.

... Which really wasn’t much of a comfort, to be honest. He was planning to say something, _anything,_ to get himself out of the situation, (Being Spiderman didn’t help when he was out of costume) but his traitorous mouth ruined everything. Again. Years later even Peter couldn’t understand why he did what he did next. “...Do you wanna crash at my place?” 


End file.
